Perfection

Aurelie L., 12th grade, Bridge Academy

 

I remember the first time I heard these painful words: “Hey, ugly girl!” It was coming out of the school cafeteria. I turned around and saw this high-school student looking at me. The first time he said it, I honestly wasn’t hurt because I loved what I saw in the mirror. I had never thought anything was wrong with my appearance. So I turned around and kept walking because he must have been talking to someone else.

 

I have a very dark complexion and it never bothered me before. I was always fine with it and never even paid attention to it. One afternoon while spending time with a friend at a restaurant, I met a few of her friends. All of the girls were light skinned like my friend, and so were the guys. Only one of them was slightly darker than me. We were all joking around when one of the guys (We’ll call him Mr. X) looked at me and said: “How come you are so black?” Never have I felt so embarrassed. I was speechless and while thinking about what to answer, Mr. X proceeded to make a “joke”: “Can you imagine if you and he had the misfortune of having a child?” he said while pointing at his dark-skin friend. His friend looked at him and laughed casually with the others, then told him to stop with the “jokes”. I was still speechless. I went home that day and looked at myself in the mirror. My self-esteem weakened more and more. He had called being dark skinned a misfortune.

 

Society and public opinion impact our views on such matters. Once, a friend showed me a “funny” advertisement for a party he had found on the internet. The ad said “Party on Friday. White girls free. Light skin girls 5 dollars. 100 dollars for dark skin girls.” My friend laughed her eyes out. I didn’t. I found the ad so offensive. Once again, it made me feel bad and self-conscious about myself. This was incredibly outrageous. Even though I know not everyone thinks like that, some people do.

 

My cousin was telling me about this girl he liked. He kept going on and on about how amazing she was and I asked why he wasn’t dating her. “I don’t know,” he responded. A couple of days later, I met the girl he had told me about. She was chubby and had coarse short hair. I tested my cousin and showed him an actress. She had long black silky hair, a caramel skin color and a skinny body. Would you date her? I asked. “Yes,” he responded with great enthusiasm. “But you don’t know her,” I said. He answered, “But she’s hot!” This is unbelievable. He would not date someone because this person did not qualify in society as pretty.

 

For some time, I was extremely depressed. I felt empty, lost and alone. I was distant with everyone. I wouldn’t participate in any activities. For instance, I wouldn’t go to the beach, worrying my complexion would darken. I wasn’t myself. I was not used to feeling so self-conscious about my looks and it was killing me. I went to school with a smile and came home even more depressed. I used to walk with my head down to try to avoid my bullies.

 

One Sunday morning, as the smell of the traditional pumpkin soup reached my room, I woke up. My parents were off to work and my brother was at a friend’s house. I got up and saw my reflection in my bedroom mirror. I stopped and stared. I looked, and looked, and looked… What was it about my body that was so wrong? What was wrong with my skin complexion? What was so wrong that it made me not pretty enough? Nothing. Nothing was the answer to my question. That is when I realized I found nothing wrong with my body, my skin color, or my face. They did. I smiled and thought, “I am beautiful.”

 

Associating your body with what you think is perfection - those cover magazine models or movie stars– is just wrong. We should step in front of the mirror and appreciate, love what we see. Honestly, I think we should praise our imperfections: they make each one of us different, and different is good. I think the happiest people on earth are those who have accepted their true self. They don’t hide; they shine. I was born the way I am and I learned to accept, love and cherish it. I feel so much happier now that I have embraced myself. From now on, I will let what I see in front of my mirror define perfection.