Words of Others

Isaac Batts

 

This is where I let myself shine,

But hide it away in the words.

This is where I choose my would-be lover,

Through their words.

This is where I find myself,

And all those around me

Going through similar journeys.

This is where I can dream.

Where my thoughts take themselves

Places I've never been before;

Take me to things I've never seen;

Take those around me to places

That no one could have dreamed.

Because they were made up by

A fictional character, made up by me.

This is where my world,

My horrible, teenage, angst-ridden world,

Falls away.

This is where I'm comfortable.

This is where I'm loved,

Despite my disclaimers that

"It's not very good, but..."

This is where I can share.

I choose not to because

Most of what I write here

Is very personal, very un-shareable.

But if I wanted to, I could.

I could share those thoughts

That no one thinks me capable of.

I could share those thoughts that I've shared before

And show the scars to match.

I could share anything.

And they'd tell me it was beautiful,

Because they haven't seen it.

They haven't lived it.

They haven't been it, but

Through my writing, they have.

This is where I take people into

A world of dark, of shadow,

Of not being good enough,

Of half wishing you were dead,

And only not going through because

You know the death of a child forces

Families apart.

And I know I've touched lives,

I can't say in what ways, but

I know I've touched them.

And many people would be unreasonably sad.

And all I want to do, is

Take away the pain, not

Give it to others.

This is where I share with others

What I'm too afraid to say

To myself.

This is where I share everything that

Weighs down on me, without saying a word about it.

This is where I share made up words,

Typed, or scribbled, illegible

And unintelligible in any case,

This is where I feel at home,

But exposed; broken, but healing;

Loved, yet unworthy.

This is where I've spent so much of my thoughts.

With these people, in this room.

With these words. The words of others

Is what cushions my falls.

Always. The words of others is what

I look forward to, what helps me.

This is where I get those words.

Where I get glimpses into the beautiful minds

Of semi-extraordinary people.